My Peggy was just a puppy(please help me)
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Posts: 7
I have two pugs a black male named Bethoven whos a year and a half and A fawn girl named peggy who turned ten months yesterday . I purchased peggy five months ago from someone in my miami pug meetup group who claimed they worked to many hours and couldn't take care of her anymore. The first week i brought her home she has constantly going to the vet for one problem after another (colitis, worms, etc.)but about a month ago she started to get a lump on her back right in between her shoulders it grew to the size of a golf ball (she is only 15 pounds) when I took her to the vet they said it could be a tumor but when they tried to extract fluid there was blood so they ruled out a tumor and said it was an infection they drained it and stitched it up 2 weeks later she was scheduled to take out the stiches but the hump was bigger they decided to open her up again and remove her microchip saying the body was recognizing it as a foriegn object and rejecting it 2weeks later she was scheduled to take out the stiches but the lump was harder and they said it was after all a tumor and they would have to remove it and do a biopsy I was so upset I took her to 2 other well known vets for a second and third opinion they agreed a biopsy was needed and possibly that it could be cancer i scheduled her surgery for monday Oct 5th I took an hour off work came home to pick her up and took her too the vet he said the surgery would take about two hours and she would have to stay there for a couple days to recover. They told me I could call at about 1 to see how she was doing but at 12:30 I recieved a call at work that made my world come crashing down the vet said he completed the surgery and he put her in the kennel when she went into cardiac arrest and passed away my heart sank i hung up on him and a minute later I called back thinking I misheard him maybe she had a seizure and is ok now but that wasnt the case Peggy was gone i left work and picked her up when i brought her home I decided to put her halloween costume (cinderella) on her it took me hours to finally decide to bury her. It was the hardest day of my life. I am twenty one years old And Peggy was the only real pet I ever had she was my daughter and she was only ten months old and most of her life she was sick. I would have done anything to save her I wasted ever penny i had and money I didn't to pay for her medical needs but still it wasnt enough . I cry all day and night I just think about that moment that she died if she felt alone if she was scared and that i wasnt there I feel guilt because if she didn't go to surgery yesterday she would still be here but what bothers me most is that she was just a puppy I hear about dogs who are 7 and 8 and die but my peggy was only 10 months and her death was so sudden. I am a very cold person i never show emotion or affection but with Peggy I was a totally diffrent person she was all I cared about and I am worried that because of that I will never stop grieving and I am so angry I dont know what to do the thought of another dog is out of the question no one will ever replace Peggy and I will never love nethier dog nor human the way I love her I guess what I am looking for is someone to tell me it will be alright and that this pain will one day pass and ways to help me move on thank you to anyone who reads this. Writing this helped me a little but my pain is over whelming and i don't know what to do.
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Posts: 1362
ddemiquel...i'm so very sorry for your loss of peggy. i know you are hurting right now but with time, i promise it will get easier. the anger will subside, the sadness will lessen and eventually you will think of peggy and smile while you remember the love you shared. allow yourself to be sad but don't be afraid to open your heart...after all, bethoven still needs you and you need him. pugs seem to have a way of knowing when we are sad and just know how to snuggle and give kisses at just the right time...be open to it. the best way to honor her memory is to share the love that you gave her. she is out of pain now, has her little angel wings and is being watched over by many of our pugs/dogs that have also passed...she is in good hands...or should i say paws. hugs to you to help you get thru this very difficult time....
carol
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Posts: 2162
ddemiquel, Ohhhhhhhhh Hon, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It is very sad. RosienMikeysmom is right. Peggy will always be with you in your heart. Please don't close your heart away. You did all you could, God Bless you for that, their are alot of dogs out there that don't have careing people who love them. They really get into our hearts. She gave you a gift, even though for just a short time. She gave you the gift of love. You opened your heart. Cherrish that memory. You will meet again. I am sending you love, hugs, and prayers, to help you in this time of sorrow. We are all here to listen, and make it through. Talk to us more about Peggy if it will help you. We're here.
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Posts: 201
I am so sorry for your loss.....You are in our prayers.....
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Posts: 317
How sad I was to read your story. Please know that I understand how awful you feel. I lost my Rosie over a year ago, and I STILL miss her. It does get better. Now I have Maddie and she's just as amazing as Rosie, though in different ways. Let me know if I can help out. Again, so sorry.
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Posts: 175
I'm so sorry for your loss..although I've been fortunate enough not to have gone through what you're experiencing, just thinking about it brings me to tears. You did everything you could for Peggy & I'm sure she knew how much you loved her & that everything you did was to help her get better. You'll be in my prayers. -
Posts: 756
I can't express how sorry I am for you and your precious Peggy! It is true over time you will feel better, this pain will subside. It will help if you will hold the memories in your heart of Peggy. Remember how she showed you love and got you to open your heart to her. Don't forget the gift Peggy left to you, what it feels like to have un-conditional love. And, know that you also gave Peggy a wonderful gift as well, un-conditional love. I am sure you have an angel watching over you, keep your heart open so you can see the gift she left you. I am praying for you, Marti and my gang Desi and Bella they are sending you pug hugs.
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Posts: 397
I'm sooo sorry for your loss. Your story was heart breaking to read. It's very painful to lose a pet, and it hurts to remember when they were sick or the day you lost them, or maybe what could have been. But, just remember the good times, and the love she gave you and you gave her. And give that love to another pet, like your pup Bethoven. I'm sure he will also go through hard times losing his friend, so you two can comfort each other.
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Posts: 2
i am soooo sorry for your loss We almost lost Lillybelle to pneumonia when she was just 10 weeks old and it was awful thinking I would get a call any minute Give your love to Bethoven Lillybelle sends some Pug kisses your way I am glad her picture was able to make you laugh
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Posts: 182
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that the memories that you have a very special. It's a good thing to know that someone as special as you, loved her as much as you did, and tried as hard as you did to help her get better. You may never truly know why and how she left you, but know that no one else could have given that little girl as much love and attention that you did in such a short period of time. We all send our love and prayers for you and know that pug hugs and kisses are being ssent to you from all corners of the world. perhaps this site will help ease your pain, but shell forever be in your thoughts and your heart.
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Posts: 28
I feel so sorry for your loss. When I was reading this I almost started to cry. I don't know what I'll do when my Bella dies. I just want to say I'm sorry and that I feel the pain.
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Posts: 8
Anyone who has a pug understands how we become so close and how they actually become our children. I have five,and each and everyone of them is special in their own way. None of mine have been lost yet, but I have been present as a dear friend lost two within months of each other. While it may seem impossible now, allow your grief to flow over and through you...with time you will heal and open your heart to the next one who will need you. And pugs have been bred solely for companionship...so another will need you. Time will heal all wounds.... Please know love and prayers come your way.....
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Posts: 7
Thank you so much to everyone, you dont know how much your words mean to me. You have all helped me through a difficult time eveyday is better than the last one. I still think about Peggy all the time and I still cry but this site has made it a little more bearable and has taught me to remember the good times I had with her.
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Posts: 1
I can't even begin to help myself much less others. Only to the extent that our grief over the loss of our pugs seems universal then we are all in the same boat. Totally personal. Horrible. Life's worst. God help us all.
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Posts: 287
thats so, so, sad. i'm really sorry
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